Recovery Stories
Change starts with real accountability.
The following stories are based on real accounts of male perpetrators of domestic abuse and feature the real voices of women survivors.
Adrian's Story. Breaking the cycle, a journey from despair to change.
I never thought I’d be the man writing something like this, exposing my flaws, showing vulnerability, but I’m doing it in the hope my story might reach other men standing at the same crossroads I once stood.
If you’re reading this, wondering whether a better life is possible, I’m living proof that it is. To be honest the process is hard, and the first step is always the most difficult, but I promise you it’s worth it.
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Charles' Story. How the Crossroads programme helped me turn my life around.
If you’d told me two years ago that I’d be writing this, I would’ve laughed in your face. Back then, my life was a mess, I was chaotic, violent, and it was all fuelled by drugs.
I’d been arrested several times for incidents with my partner, but it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realised something had to change.
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Edwards' Story. How confronting my past sparked real change.
My journey to the Crossroads programme began with a stark realisation. I had suffered abuse in a past relationship.
When that relationship ended I didn’t escape the cycle, I mirrored the same patterns, becoming the abuser in my next relationship. I almost lost my kids because of my drinking and abusive behaviour.
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Survivor Stories
A Woman's Perspective on Male Accountability, Healing & Hope
When I first heard that my partner was attending Crossroads, I didn’t know what to feel. Was it hope, relief, or just another empty promise? For so long, change had seemed out of reach. Living with him meant living on edge, always ready for the next explosion, always watching every word and action.
Some things have changed, he thinks before acting now, especially in arguments, and I don’t fear he’ll hit me or throw something at me the way I used to. I feel safer. I’m not as jumpy when he touches me. I don’t flinch or brace myself for sudden anger.
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A Survivor’s Story: My Journey Beyond Abuse & Reclaiming My Voice
I’m not just a victim – I’m a survivor, a woman reclaiming her voice. When I first discovered that my partner was attending Crossroads, I felt as though it was little more than a tick-box exercise, that he was doing it because he had to, not because he truly wanted to change.
Before social services got involved, he knew about strength to change, but he wasn’t interested. It was only when the police stepped in that he finally acted. I have noticed changes in him. He seems calmer than he used to be. There have been moments where he’s actually been pleasant.
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Through a woman’s eyes: Embracing Change after domestic abuse
When I first learnt my ex-partner was attending Crossroads, I felt a mix of relief and scepticism. Part of me was grateful that, for once, he’d have to face up to the issues that had pushed us into such a dark place.
Hearing the truth from professionals, not just me, gave me hope he might finally listen. This was his second time on the programme, I couldn’t help but wonder, would anything really ever change? My hopes have always been reserved – I always felt doubt. Alcohol was his biggest demon, he claimed to be sober but also admitted he’d never tell me if he relapsed. How could I ever trust him when lies had become second nature?